commissioned by the carriage house quartet and rhythm method nyc for string quartet ca. 8-12'+
the waning months of the covid-19 pandemic's first wave presented me with one of the most arduous moments of my life. while the pandemic forcibly redefined normalcy in our society, I was also still grieving a great many loss, most of all being my father. it took the culmination of all of these elements for me to recognize the pain I was truly in. Losing my father didn't just mean losing a parent at 19 - it also left my future in peril. financially, life suddenly became unsustainable. In the midst of this grief, pain, and stress, I did the only thing I knew would help ease the pain - I worked. I knew if I buried myself & dug deep, if I ran the tires bald, that I'd be distracted enough to not hurt & could "mean something" by the time the pain set back in.
that's in the past, now. and although I am healthier & more financially stable, I also have a great amount of healing to do. a great amount of reconciling who I am with what I did. that's where this work comes in. this is a healing project, facing the manifestations of my unhealthiest grief.
- d. dukat
SELFDESTRUCT is an ode to those who are struggling to float in a sea of priorities that leave them last.
perusal score: https://issuu.com/d.dukat_music/docs/selfdestruct
performances by the rhythm method and the carriage house quartet coming soon